Expectant Mothers and First-Time Mothers: The Loss of Your Personal Life Rhythm

A woman completely gives up her personal life rhythm once her baby is born. Just as she sacrifices her own needs in order to meet her baby's needs, so she gives up her own personal lifestyle to fit the needs of her new baby. This can be a very difficult adjustment to make. Her whole world can feel like it has been turned upside down as she adjusts her life to fit her new baby's needs. Eventually she will begin to get some of her own life rhythm back, but during her "training period" (i.e. the first three months postpartum) it can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under her as she struggles to gain a foothold on her new life.

Before having my own babies I lived a relatively unfettered life. Although I had my own personal routine, I could deviate from it whenever I wanted to without repercussions. But having babies changed all that because a baby's routine is pretty much the same from one day to the next. They are usually predictable in their eating and sleeping patterns. For instance, most newborns need to eat and sleep every 1-3 hours. When you aren't used to this, it takes time to get used to living your life so predictably and according to someone else's schedule.

A person's life rhythm is an integral part of who she is. Every adult has one. There are few occasions where someone's personal life rhythm is suddenly eliminated, short of prison or a major debilitating accident. Even then, the person alters his life rhythm to adjust to the situation, but does not completely give it up. His life is still about him. Even a new mother's partner continues with her or his personal routine of getting up, taking a shower, and going to work. Once he comes home from work his schedule may be different from the way it was before, but overall his routine is relatively similar to how it was prior to parenthood. This can cause the new mom to feel jealous and even resentful of her partner, as she struggles to retain some sense of her own personal rhythm while still trying to provide her baby with everything he needs.

During the first three months postpartum you can expect your life to be turned upside down (unless you have a nighttime or daytime nanny, housekeeper, and/or go back to work). But this is a temporary phase. Eventually, although you will not get your "old" life rhythm back, you will be able to get back some of your old routine and do the things you used to enjoy. You will always have a schedule that revolves around your baby (and then child as she grows), but you will be able to develop a schedule that fits your needs, as well.


Original post on New Mom Central.

[expectant mom]
[expectant mother]
[life rhythm]
[sleep]
[new mother]
[woman]
[first-time mother]
[motherhood]