Becoming a new mother

The first three months after the birth of a woman’s first child is one of the least understood aspects of motherhood, yet it is also one of the most important times during the transition to motherhood. Rarely is the woman who does not remember her first three months postpartum after the birth of her first child. Why is the first three months so significant in the transition to motherhood?

The first three months postpartum is a time when mother and baby are getting to know each other and adjusting to the major life change that has brought them together. For the new mother it is a time for getting her bearings on her new life role and developing her maternal skills by learning how to take care of her newborn. For the newborn, it is a time for adjusting to life outside the womb with a body that is not quite fully mature yet and can sometimes cause him discomfort or pain. This is also the time during which colic develops, a painful experience for the newborn that gets it.
In addition to adjusting to the idea of being a mother and getting to know her new baby, there are a variety of issues that can affect a woman after she gives birth—especially if she is a first-time mother. Her emotional and mental state will affect her mood and her initial experience of being a mother, which in turn can affect her confidence in herself as a mother. The types of issues that can occur vary, e.g. mental health problems, physical and hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, difficult personal situations, the absence of an adequate support system, the physical strain of labor or C-section delivery, fear of pre-term delivery, the break-up of a primary relationship or another major loss, a history of depression or other mental illness, etc.

It is important for women to understand that there are many factors that affect their experience as first-time mothers. It isn't always joy and bliss, and it isn't always anxiety and exhaustion. It just depends on your situation. However, for far too many mothers in the U.S. (and other Western cultures) there is little help or guidance on doing one of the most important tasks for our species: taking care of its young. So, as a result, many women do not know what they are doing and feel very overwhelmed and nervous when they have their first baby. Even a woman's mother is often unable or reluctant to assist her in developing her maternal skills. Becoming a mother is one of the most life-changing events that will ever happen to a woman and she needs some guidance and help if she is to get through it with the joy and bliss that she expects. So, try to make sure that you get help if you are going to have a baby. And, don't wait for others to offer help, ASK FOR IT! Never be afraid to ask for what you need. Everyone needs help sometimes, and new mothers need lots of it. That being said, I am aware that there are women who feel they need no help and that is fine. Maybe they have experience, maybe they have a natural inclination, maybe they have a nanny or regular daily help from their mothers. Whatever the case, it doesn't matter. Every woman's experience is different and every woman needs different things to get her through one of the most difficult periods of motherhood--the first three months postpartum after the first baby.


Original post on New Mom Central.

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