The guilt that just about every mom feels (even new moms) is the result of a fairy tale version of motherhood that our Western society puts forth as if it's real and something to aspire to. Consequently, there is no "real" version of motherhood to be found anywhere, except in a woman's own memory of what her mother was like. And, since the fantasy version of motherhood is all little girls grow up with, we often view our own mothers as failures if they did not live up to this ideal image, i.e. did not bake cookies for us, or sew our clothes when they ripped, or give us lots of hugs. (Of course, there are some really negligent and abusive mothers, as well, and I don't want to discount those experiences.) The reality of motherhood is much more boring, I'm afraid, but much more real, as well.
If you want to get a first-hand account of what some mothers feel as they try, yet fail, to achieve the fantasy (i.e. media) version of the mother ideal, here's a great blog to read:
http://mysterymommy.blogspot.com/2007/12/adequateinadequate.html
Original post on New Mom Central.
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